Listening to People

"Effectiveness of spoken word", say Ralph and Leonard in Harvard business review, "hings not on how people talk, but mostly on how people listen".

I attend lot of meetings and find generally people lack the listening skills, people start discussions even before a presenter makes his point. So one has to decide, when people want to be a crocodile (speaking with loud mouth) and a rabbit (listening with long ears).

However, as it is put by the authors, " communication is all about listening to some body or some one listening to you".

A poor listener is not necessarily an unintelligent person, to be good listener, some one has to apply their experience and training.

As we all know there is a huge difference between hearing and listening. Hearing is all about the sound waves travelling in the air and reaching your ears. Listening is effectively hearing, processing in mind and understanding what other person is saying.

Well a basic human being can speak 125 words per minute, however our brain can process the words much....much faster than speech. That means we have lot of spare time to think and that is where we wander, while listening.

The basic medium of thought is language, that is also some times influenced by so called "mother tongue", means your effective listening can vary based on the comfort of your language skills.

The authors say, from various research they found four mental ways to be practiced for effective listening for an effective communication between individuals.

1. Engage mind to think ahead of the listener, trying to anticipate where the discussion is leading to and what conclusions will be drawn.
   
2. Weigh the evidence used by the talker, whether it is complete.
   
3. Periodically review what you listened and summarize in the mind.
   
4. Listen between the lines i.e. simply pay attention to "non verbal communication"

One must understand, a human being always swayed by his emotions, which in turn effects the ability to listen or act as filters.

well while you are engaging your mind on the above four effective activities, but remember the following to tide over the filters.

• While listening withhold your evaluation of speaker, means judgements and decisions should be reserved at the end of the conversation.
  
• Do not hunt for negative evidence, means trying to prove what you believe is correct or to prove what you are listening is wrong.

As we all understand, communication plays a major role in a organization and in our social life....you can make enemies or friends based upon what you talk. As a there is a proverb, which says...." If you slip your leg, some one can correct, but if you slip your tongue, it is difficult to correct".